Corporal punishment

This hub is about growing up in a small town in Pennsylvania and how things have changed over the years in regards to the acceptable discipline and punishment of children.

Years ago corporal punishment was the norm, not the exception. This was true certainly in the area that I grew up, along with my siblings, in a small town in Pennsylvania. We actually lived in a small village with beautiful mountains surrounding us with the Susquehanna River flowing just behind my house.

We loved to roam around that small village. We would get lost in time. We sometimes played along the river banks. The various rocks fascinated me. There were a number of neighborhood children to play with. We could get a ball game going or create bows and arrows out of the willow trees and dead branches. One of our favorite spots was an old house that had been abandoned and we’d play make believe that we were cops and robbers or lost in world. We’d create new themes for the week. Now the point to be known is that we were forbidden to be in that house as we were told that it was not safe to hang out in.

My brother was recalling an incident from our childhood and actually had me in stitches with tears running down my face. The story goes something like this: One particular day, he had playing with some buddies in that old abandoned house and had lost track of time. My mother had told him to be home for some event or another. It was something that was obviously important to her but not so very much to him. She must have been looking for him for some time because by the time that she found him she was plenty mad. He said she was yelling, “I have been all over the village looking for you. I was down at the river bank and I was over by the empty field and, guess what, no Eddie. Have you been in this old house all the time?” My brother said he just gave her a blank stare. I mean obviously that was where he was. Why do adults do that to children? They know the answer to a question and still they ask it. Well, you had to know my mother. He could have answered. He could have remained quiet. Either way, once she was on her way to high C, look out, you were going to get it. He said she had the fly swatter in her hand and he knew that he was in for it. He said Mom grabbed him and began swatting him all the way home. “Ah-hem, boo hoo, ah-hemm, boo hoo,” he cried. He said he cried half the way home. Then he said all of a sudden he realized that it began to feel pretty good. “A little to the left, a little to the right please he sang in his head.”

Now, while this story has a bit of an amusing ending, the truth is that corporal punishment has been under fire for quite a long time.

Research shows that such methods actually decrease moral internalization, which means that it actually has the opposite effect of what is attempted to be accomplished. Parents are spanking to not only get children to comply at the moment but to adhere to moral code long term. Spanking is associated with aggression from the parents; thus, it actually perpetuates the problem. Children learn more by what their parents model than by what they say. Studies have also shown that physical punishment leads to an increase in antisocial behaviors, especially for boys and children between ten and twelve years of age.

The parent-child relationship is extremely vital in order that children internalize good morals. Spanking decreased the healthy relationship; thus, leading to an increase in negative behavior in children. Children continue the cycle as adults and studies have demonstrated an increase in adult abusive behavior by children who were spanked. Corporal punishment also affects the mental health of children in a negative way.

Not all experts agree on this subject. Many will argue that there is a difference between a smack on the butt by a hand and that of a closed fist or slaps to the face, chest or head. Certainly there is a difference when a weapon is involved.

Many people are shocked when I tell them that we were spanked or whipped with a belt when we were deemed to misbehave. I too think this is excessive and selected not to use such methods with my own children. However, my mother was raised by the belt and that is the method of discipline that she chose. While I do not condone such methods, I do not condemn my mother. Her own mother passed away when she was eight years old and she did what she knew to do. There are many cultural issues that factor into such a topic of discussion. Even research shows that no significant aggression was noted in the category of minorities. Thus I contend, as was the case for myself and my siblings, we survived it as we believed it to be the norm.

There are a number of studies that exist. Among them any expert can dispute the results due to cross-sectional results being reported. It is best in my opinion to err on the side of caution and find other means for discipline such as the naughty chair or corner. Issue consequences that alarm the child in a manner that is significant enough to alter the behavior. Basically, the time must fit the crime.

Each child is different and no one method can be recommended. I used to tell my children that they did not come with a manual. It takes a village to raise a happy and healthy child. If you are feeling over-whelmed, reach out for support such as working out an exchange of child care for a break once in awhile. Join a mommy and me or a daddy and me play group. Raising children is one of the most difficult jobs, but the most rewarding job in the world. Two of mine are grown. One is almost an adult. Trust me, it’s worth all the hard work.